If I had to name someone who undeniably left a positive legacy on my life, my aunt and uncle would definitely be at the top of my list. The influence they left on my life was definitely unlike any other, and today, I want you to consider the legacy that you are going to be leaving for your children, your children’s children, and their children’s children.
A few weeks ago, my aunt, who was born in 1927, took her very last breath. She was easily one of my favorite people on earth, and she and I were close. My husband and I called her the Energizer Bunny. She lived a super-healthy life, and even up until her last few days, the only physical thing really wrong with her was that her knees would give out, and this didn’t allow her to walk or even stand. Until she was nearing the end, she was completely coherent and in her right mind. There were even a few times when it seemed that she wasn’t in her right mind or completely coherent, but she would still respond when you least expected it.
Actually, for example, just this past Thanksgiving, we gave her lessons on how to do a few things on her new iPhone 12, and she seemed to grasp this basic knowledge more than others who are even younger than her. She was even on Facebook and always enjoyed seeing what others posted. I have found myself praying, on occasion, that I got her genes and am able to live with only minimal problems or health concerns, as she did.
Up until the last few months of her life, she lived the past 22 years entirely on her own. Her husband unexpectedly passed away in February, 2000. He was her everything. She was his everything. But, she had to quickly learn to do things she never had to do before; however, she did it with what looked like ease from everyone else’s point of view. I know it wasn’t easy for her at all, but she quickly had to learn to live all on her own.
And, she did it. She was a very independent woman. She never expected others to pick up the slack or do everything for her. She stepped up to the challenge and did it all herself. She didn’t like the feeling of having others take care of her. Even up until she was 94, she lived completely on her own.
She and her husband never had children of their own, but she definitely considered me as one. She would even tell me this on occasion, and I remember, as a kid, begging to spend as much time with her as I possibly could. Their home was always peaceful, clean, and uncluttered. Everything had its own place. It was still very comfortable, and they were always sure to never make anyone feel uncomfortable while they were there. No one had to take off their shoes when they entered their home, yet, their carpet remained immaculate, and there was still a lot of snacking going on in the big, oversized family room recliners.
I remember sitting in those recliners as if I sat in them just yesterday. I remember the soft velour-like feeling that they had and the color was creamy with a slight touch of pink. I’m sure you can probably picture them now.
As a young kid, I would sit in those recliners, eating Ritz Crackers and cheese and drinking a coke, while watching As The World Turns with my aunt, and all while my uncle was at work. I think that she served Ritz Crackers and cheese with everything they ate, and it always seemed to go together and hit the spot. I can even remember my dad teaching me math while sitting in those big recliners.
She used to always buy cereal that had the fun prizes inside. She had a special drawer in the corner of the kitchen that held them all, and every time I went to their house, I would go straight to that drawer and pick out a prize. It was so much fun fiddling through all the trinkets still wrapped in wrinkly, clear foil and still somewhat grainy from being inside the cereal box. These are all memories that I seem to remember just like they happened yesterday.
I was about to turn 9 when MTV first made their debut in 1981. My house did not have cable, but my aunt and uncle did! I was at their house when it happened. I had spent the night with them the night before, and they were sometimes night owls, so we would sometimes stay up late. I remember sitting on their living room floor watching as MTV came on the air for the very first time. I remember that video, Video Killed the Radio Star, and I was so mesmerized by ALL the music videos! I would sit and watch them for as long as I possibly could. Little did I know that I would eventually meet my husband, while recording a music video for HIS band.
Something else that I can specifically remember is when my aunt and uncle got new carpet in their kitchen. Yeah, this was way back when it was actually a desire to have carpet in the kitchen and bathroom. But, very soon after they had the brand new carpet installed, I went over to spend the night, as you see now that I frequently did, and she and I began to make breakfast. This was when I accidentally dropped an egg on her brand new carpet. If you’ve ever dropped an egg, you know that the egg white tends to splatter everywhere, and this time was no exception! Egg whites and yolk, along with the porous fibers in the new carpet, seemed to marry very quickly, becoming one with one another. She laughingly sighed and drooped her head and shoulders, and I can still hear her voice today, as said, “You just dropped an egg on my brand new carpet!” I remember being mortified and so sorry, but she lovingly cleaned it up with, again, what seemed like ease, and she never raised her voice at me about it. However, she still did frequently and jokingly remind me of that event, even up until she passed away…about 40 years later.
If there was ever anything that my aunt and uncle wanted, they either paid for it, or they didn’t buy it. Debt was not anything they desired to acquire. They didn’t feel the need to go into debt to keep up with others around them. Yet, they still had everything they ever wanted, and everything they had was nice and very kept, and no one knew them as ever being in want or need of anything. They lived simply, on less than they made, and made sure they had plenty of savings for a rainy day. They were both the epitome of self-control.
There was a point when my grandmother, my dad’s mom, lived with my aunt and uncle. I would always sleep with my grandmother every time I spent the night. We would stay up late talking and laughing. My aunt would sometimes come in the room and tell us to quieten down because we were being too loud. My grandmother would sit in her tiny, pink recliner most of the time and always have a Bible in her lap. If she wasn’t talking with someone, she was reading her Bible. I would sit at her feet and play with her jewelry in her jewelry box. It would always play music whenever the bottom drawer was pulled out, and I can still identify that music today.
My grandmother had an old tape recorder. Well, it probably wasn’t too old back then, but I would sit on the floor and record us talking on the tape. My aunt gave me that tape a few years ago, and I am trying my best to locate it as I record this. I know I put it away somewhere for safe keeping, but I just haven’t been able to locate it at the moment. I have a few more places to look, so if I find it, I may post it as a bonus.
When I was a kid, every year…sometimes multiple times a year, our family would go on a camping trip. We had 4 families who would go…my dad’s family, which was obviously my mom, my siblings and me. Then we sometimes had my dad’s brother’s family, another friend of the family, and then also this aunt and uncle. A lot of times we would camp locally, but most of the time, we went to Gatlinburg to camp. I think we all had the exact same turquoise and white Scotty camper too. I know at least 3 of the families did. We would all caravan down the road with our CBs in hand, and we’d all chat back-n-forth the entire way to our destination.
On these trips, I would always ride with my aunt and uncle. I remember the big blue truck they used to drive, and how the cab always smelled like Juicy Fruit chewing gum, and it never failed. Soon after leaving, my aunt would pull out the Juicy Fruit gum and offer a piece to me. Still, to this day, EVERY TIME I smell ANYTHING that smells like Juicy Fruit gum, I think of our trips and riding in the front seat of that big, blue truck!
Isn’t it funny how a simple smell can so quickly take you back to something from when you were so small?
Another memory I have is whenever my aunt and uncle would take random trips to the mall, my aunt would always call and ask me to join them. They would come by our house and pick me up, and I would eagerly jump into their car because I also knew that I was, more than likely, going to get Chick-fil-A for dinner. The mall that we went to had a Chick-fil-A inside, and it wasn’t in the food court. It was in an actual, down stairs store space that was about the size of a 2-car garage. The smell of Chick-fil-A’s Chicken Noodle Soup always takes me back to sitting in that very small Chick-fil-A dining room, eating Chicken Noodle Soup. I can even remember what seat I sat in on one of our many trips.
There was one time that I needed a new swimsuit, and my aunt offered to take me to buy one. Even thinking about this now, I laugh because my aunt was VERY modest. Don’t get me wrong. My swimsuits are pretty modest too, especially for today’s standards. I was never allowed to wear a two-piece swimsuit growing up, so it shouldn’t have been much of a problem, however, my aunt’s modesty even surpassed my parent’s. As soon as I arrived back home, my mom asked to see what we had purchased, and I had to tell her that we could find one that my aunt deemed appropriate. My aunt quickly chimed in that she was looking for a swimsuit that covered my arms, legs, and neck, but they were nowhere to be found. I am guessing that she was looking for something that would have been more appropriately found at a scuba store.
The influence that my aunt and uncle had on my life was undeniably unlike any other. It continues to have a lot of impact on the way I continue to live life today. It was more than just learning to not sweat the small stuff – such as a broken egg on the carpet. They were also a great example for marriage and what it means to truly love and be devoted to one-another.
I never heard an unkind word come from my aunt or uncle’s mouth, or my grandmother’s, for that matter. In fact, my dad was like that too. I also see this same spirit in my own husband and children. I do really wish I could go back in time and ask my grandmother what her formula was, but I expect that it was nothing more than just prayer.
But, I never, once, overheard any negative talk come from their mouths to or about anyone or especially one another. The love and respect that they had for each other was also unlike any other I had ever witnessed. When I was very young, I remember asking my aunt, “Don’t you guys ever fight?” It was just so incredibly foreign to me because in my household, there was always some kind of fighting going on. I couldn’t even comprehend how they didn’t fight. And, it wasn’t because I was always there at the right time or that one person would always walk away after a negative comment was made. Those negative comments were just never made to begin with. There was nothing to walk away from.
Whenever someone would talk poorly to my aunt, she would also quickly dismiss it and not continue to allow it. She knew who she was in Christ and never allowed anyone to tell her otherwise, just like I talked about in my last episode, You Are Enough.
She knew that the person speaking poorly to her was the one hurting, and she had great compassion on them. She respected herself enough to not allow that in her life. She would remove herself from the person or situation and quickly create a healthy boundary for herself.
She would not keep putting herself back in the situation. If needed, she would stay away. She knew what ground she stood on, and she wasn’t willing to allow others to shake that ground or tell her who she was, what she should or shouldn’t do, or where she should or shouldn’t go. She allowed the Holy Spirit to guide her always along the way, and that was the biggest voice in her life.
If I had to name someone who undeniably left a positive legacy on my life, my aunt and my uncle would definitely be at the top of my list. Before I met my husband, Brandon, I remember praying for God to send me a husband like my uncle, and to my surprise, He totally did! My husband also obtains that similar sweet, gentle spirit that my uncle had, and because of this, I feel that the legacy we will leave on our children, can be similar to theirs. That is truly my prayer, anyway.
That’s it for today. I pray that this episode blessed you and allows you to think a bit about the legacy that you are going to be leaving for your children, your children’s children, or even, like in this case, your nieces and nephews. I look forward to chatting with you again in another episode.
