Feeling Stuck: Article
In episode 74, I talked about feeling stuck, and it’s been one of my most downloaded episodes yet! There seems to be a lot of people out there who feel stuck and don’t know what to do about it. Whether it’s in your job, as a parent, as a spouse, as a child… You may be feeling stuck financially, socially, emotionally, physically, mentally, and so on… Whatever it is, you are currently feeling stuck, and you have absolutely no idea what to do about it.
In episode 74, I also shared that my husband and I had just come out of a season where we felt kinda stuck. We all feel that way sometimes. All of us, at one time or another, can find ourselves in a season of feeling stuck. We believe wholeheartedly what we share with you on our podcast, and we try our best to live it out in our everyday lives, but sometimes, we still find that we become stuck. Sometimes, we don’t even notice the start of it, but we suddenly find ourselves in a state of being stuck and realize that it didn’t happen overnight.
Where you are in life right now, like your age and/or your current circumstances, can determine the level of intensity that you feel stuck. If you are younger, you may not feel like it’s that much of a big deal and that’ll it’ll soon pass, but if you are older or even nearing the age of retirement, you may feel it more intensely. If you are older, you can also, more than likely, fear too much the lifestyle change of becoming unstuck and what that will truly mean. You may feel tired and that you have very little energy left for becoming unstuck in your situation. You may have others who depend on you, and you wonder how that change will affect them as well.
So, let’s say that you’re feeling stuck right now in your job, and you already desperately want or need a change. What if you were to go into work today, and for whatever reason, your boss lets you go. Would you suddenly feel unstuck and free, or would that stuck feeling suddenly transfer to extreme panic because you’re now stuck trying to figure out what you’re gonna do about your financial state, or how you’re going to take care of your family, how you’re going to pay your bills or your immense debt?
In order to get a change, you need to start by changing your habits a little bit at a time. Just changing your habit in one area can have a butterfly effect on every other area of your life. You can start small. When you think of changing a habit, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Getting up earlier to do some of the things that you are passionate about? Make better food choices? This can be something that you can start slowly. Maybe make a change at breakfast but nothing else. Then, when you have formed a new habit there, make a new choice for lunch and so on… I bet you will start to feel so much better after making that new first choice that you will automatically start to make a new second change and third change. You may feel more productive just from that one choice that you gain new energy to finally work on something that you are passionate about, and that it will start to affect every other area of your life. It’s called the butterfly affect. Making one small change towards a better you or towards feeling unstuck can have an effect on everything else in your life as well.
Did you know that the meaning of insanity is doing the same thing over and over every day and expecting different results? We were never meant to do that! We were meant for change…growth…and progress. If we are doing the same thing every day and expecting different results, we have the potential of going insane. Insanity can look different on different people. It doesn’t mean that you will end up in the psych ward in a hospital. For most people, going insane can look a lot like an identity crisis or a mid-life crisis. It can look a lot like a husband walking out on his family after years of marriage or a wife walking out on her family. It can look a lot like your next-door neighbor who used to say hello but hardly speaks to anyone anymore. It can look like a young mother throwing her hands up in the air and saying, “I’m done!” It can be a child of any age who is suddenly questioning everything that their parents or their church taught them as truth.
All of these things can come from the result of just feeling stuck, and if we were able to get ourselves unstuck, our lives would turn out a lot differently than the above mentioned.
So, how do we become unstuck?
One of the biggest questions that I ask my listeners is, “If you could do anything, what would it be?” I know that’s a big question with a broad answer, but what was the very first thing that came to your mind when I asked that question?
The current stage of life that you are in will determine your answer or your category of answers. For some of you, you just thought about purchasing a catamaran sailing around the world. Oh! Wait! No! That was me that thought that! Sorry! But, seriously, some of you thought of a different job – probably most of you thought that but what if it was simpler and easier than that. What if someone’s answer was, “If I could do anything, I would take a nap!” Or, “If I could do anything, I would find someone to help clean my house or do my grocery shopping.” “If I could do anything, I would start my own business.” Maybe someone out there thought, “If I could do anything, I would adopt a child…become a foster parent, or a respite family for someone else who wants to foster children.”
Whatever it is that you want to do, you can do it. There is always a way! The road there may not be easy or well-traveled, but there is a road.
Whatever it is that you want to do, you can do it. There is always a way! The road there may not be easy or well-traveled, but there is a road. Click To Tweet
We may feel that we have only one calling in our lives, but this isn’t the case with most people, and to get to where we want to go, it will take us many avenues and roads to complete that journey by the end of our life. At one part of our life, we may do one thing that points us toward that calling then find that at another point in our life, there’s something else that we can do in order to fulfill our calling, or, we may find that we now have a totally different calling on our lives. Circumstances can change. Our passions can change. Our life’s calling can change. Every new experience builds on old experiences. You cannot suddenly jump to the end like Prince Humperdinck. If you are familiar with The Princess Bride, then you know that things didn’t turn out well for him. You have to take the proper steps to get you where you want to go.
If you are feeling stuck in debt and want to be debt-free, you have to take the proper steps to get yourself there. If you want to feel less stuck as a parent, you have to implement the necessary healthy boundaries with your children and others around you. If you want to be less stuck in your job, you need to work hard to get yourself financially free so that you can find another job or even start your own business. It CAN happen! You CAN do it! It won’t happen overnight, but remember, any amount of progress toward your goal is progress – no matter how small that progress may feel. If you decide to skip Starbucks today and make your coffee at home, that’s progress! Maybe you decide to put your kids to bed just a little bit earlier so that you can have just one quiet moment to yourself. Remember, you didn’t get into this mess overnight. It took you years to get here. You can’t expect it to take a day to get you out of this mess or this feeling be being stuck.
In episode 82, I talked about getting out in the community and how that can allow you to feel better about where you are. There’s an old Chinese saying that says, “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” Sometimes getting past the feeling of being stuck can be achieved just by helping someone else get past their feeling of being stuck. There are so many opportunities in the community that we live in that allows us to help others. You can help people, and naturally, in return, they end up helping you. I mentioned above about being a respite family for someone who wants to be a foster parent. That can be super helpful to that family and ultimately our community. Sometimes, stuff like this can lead to you exploring a more meaningful career or career path. Some say that the path to happiness is helping others. Maybe you feel stuck because you are too focused on yourself, and you need to be more “others-focused.”
Just because you choose a career that helps other people doesn’t always mean that you have to sacrifice wages. There are careers out there that can provide good incomes to those who help others, but please remember that making more money will not solve your problems. Sometimes, making more money can only add to your problems. I’ve heard Dave Ramsey say, “If you’re a generous person, making more money will make you more generous. If you’re a jerk, making more money will only make you a bigger jerk!”
“If you’re a generous person, making more money will make you more generous. If you’re a jerk, making more money will only make you a bigger jerk!” @daveramsey Click To Tweet
What are your strengths? What are you good at that can help someone else? It doesn’t have to have anything to do with your current job or maybe it does. Maybe you’re already good with your finances in your personal life, and you have a passion for helping others with theirs. Instead of searching for a job that allows you to do that, start by volunteering to help people figure out how to navigate their finances or help them figure out how to get on a budget. Take an hour out of your week to volunteer to help one person get on a path to success. You never know where this can lead you down the road. Are you good with and love animals? Go to your local animal shelter and volunteer some time helping them out. There are times when the gift of time can be more valuable than the gift of money.
If you’re feeling stuck in your job or even in your life, reevaluate what really matters most to you. Become financially secure by getting out of debt and creating an atmosphere to where there would be no stress if you were to suddenly lose or quit your job. Sometimes, just changing our habits can make a world of difference in every area of our lives.
Check out my 7 Simple Steps to Loving Your Life Podcast Episode: and get started today with creating the life you love to live – your best life! These simple steps can help you if you are feeling stuck. They can help get you out of your rut and help you get back on your feet again.
Here, at TEA of Life Podcast, We believe that we were not meant to live a life of anguish or misery. We believe that God desires for us to live our life in full: full of love, hope, grace, intention, laughter, and freedom – freedom like you’ve never known or experienced before, and in order to be able to do that, you may sometimes need to get yourself unstuck from a current situation that may be holding you back.
Confucious said, “Choose a job your love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.”
