Do you ever find yourself more easily believing the bad things that have possibly been said about or told to you, rather than the good things that God’s Word tells us? Sometimes, it’s the bad stuff that’s easier to believe.
In this episode, I share a little more about my story, in hopes of encouraging and inspiring you to believe the good things of who you are and who God created you to be!
I know that my story is mine to tell, but I still struggle with painting the finger – so to speak. So, if you have any suggestions on how i can make this better, please follow me over on Instagram and leave a comment under this episode on Instagram. I’d love to hear your feedback.
So, I’m just gonna jump right in…
Have you ever thought about how much the bad stuff is easier to believe? This is something that I struggled with for so long and still struggle with from time-to-time. It wasn’t really until my mid 40s, that I began to realize this struggle was real.
Since I can remember, I thought I was the crazy one. I still question my sanity at times, but now it’s mostly when I’m exhausted, overworked, and feeling insecure. Those old feelings sometimes creep back into my mind. But, in my mid-forty’s, I began to learn that I’m not crazy at all. I do say that I “began to learn” because for me, it wasn’t an instant knowing. It was something that I had to work through. It’s something that I still have to work through. I mean, when you’ve heard or been told this your entire life, you tend to believe it easier than you don’t.
I remember a quote from the movie Pretty Woman. It’s a quote that stuck out to me from the moment I saw that movie for the very first time, and I guess at the time, I didn’t know the impact that that one line would have on my future self. That line, spoken by Julia Robert’s, was “The bad stuff is easier to believe.”
Like I said before, growing up and just until a few years ago, I always thought I was the crazy one. I thought I was the problem because I was told that I was the problem. I thought that if I was just a better at being who she wanted me to be, or even more like her, I would be more likable and lovable.
If I could just be more cooperative, I’d be a better person. If I could just be nicer, quieter, more cooperative, less structured, and even prettier or skinnier, I may be more accepted. These were more than just thoughts in my head. These were actual words spoken to me.
Since I was little, I have also been told that I’m not good. I have been told that I am not a good daughter and that I never have been. I have been told over and over that I am a thorn in the side and have been since the day I was born. I have been told that I’m selfish and unChrist-like and a disappointment.
I know that just because I’m told those things, it doesn’t make them true. I’ve learned to not make her words my identity.
Basically, if I could just become more of the person she wanted me to be, or even more like her, then I’d be more loved and accepted.
I admit that I do still struggle with that from time-to-time, but the times are getting less and less, and I have begun to recognize it, mostly now, even before it starts. I remember the circumstances and situations that I would be in when I would feel that way, and sometimes even be told those things, but now, when I find myself gravitating toward those same situations, I know I am more in control of myself and who I am. I am in control of how I respond and what I believe. I prepare myself by either walking away or just staying away, or if I can’t do either of those things, then I make sure that I’m in the proper mindset, throwing up guardrails, to not allow those things to penetrate me like they always did before.
But, over the years, I still silently believed all of this was true. I thought that if I was just more available, more cooperative, more agreeable, and less troublesome, then that would make me a better daughter and more lovable. If I could just be all of those things then this relationship wouldn’t be so hard.
The truth is, I was not the one making this relationship so hard. I was not any of those things. I was and am a good daughter, I am a good person, I am lovable, I am not a thorn, but it took me until my mid-forties to begin to acknowledge this and even a few years later to truly understand and believe this.
I also adopted another quote from PeWee Herman. Now, before you go off on how bad PeeWee Herman is, just know that I’m not quoting this in favor of him. Im quoting it in favor of me. That line is, “I know you are, but what am I?”
Now, when I hear those nasty words, I think to myself, “I know you are, but what am I?” And, slightly chuckle in my head.
During that time, I learned to lean on my Bible to find out what God says about me, and I learned to put a boundary around God’s truth. As it turns out, He doesn’t tell me any of those things at all. Those other things are all lies from the devil., and are not truths from God.
In Luke 12:17, God tells me that I am valued.
Joshua 1:9 tells me that I can be strong and courageous.
1 Peter 1:9 tells me that I am chosen
1 John 3:1 tells me that I am a child of God.
Psalm 139:14 says that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and then verse 17 tells me that His thoughts towards me are precious and many.
Ephesians 2:4-5 tells me that I am loved by God with a great love, even through my sin.
Matthew 5:14 tells me that I am the light of the world.
John 15:15 says that I am a friend of God.
Romans 8:31 says that God is FOR me!
Ephesians 2:19 says that I am not a stranger…but a member of God’s household.
And, Romans 8:37 says that I am more than a conquerer.
If this is something that you have experienced during your life or may be even experiencing right now, I want you to know that God is not telling you all those lies! The devil is! Those nasty things that you are being told are lies straight from the pit of hell.
Now that I know that those are lies, I’ve learned to live more free and more victoriously. I am free to be who God created me to be in order to benefit His kingdom – and not the person that she thinks that I should be, in order to benefit her.
The bad stuff may be easier to believe, but I’ve also noticed that the more I have begun to concentrate on what and who God tells me that I am, it’s now His good stuff that is easier for me to believe.
I really appreciate you being here with me today. I pray that this blesses you and allows you to know that you are chosen and loved.
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