#60 Investing in Your Kids: noregrets

I posted a picture on Facebook with a comment about investing in your kids that has gotten quite a bit of attraction. The comment was this…

“Some may say that purchasing a sailboat is not a smart investment; that paying monthly docking fees is a waste of money. I could not disagree more!

We have less than 76 weeks until this guy turns 18. Spending every smidgen of time with him and doing as a family, what he has grown to love, IS a proper investment – an investment with a magnitude of infinite return.

Two of my favorite quotes from Andy Stanley are:

“You never know what hangs in the balance of doing the very thing that God is calling you to do.”

And…

“Your greatest contribution to the kingdom of God may not be what you do but who you raise.”

If we would have given way to our every excuse to wait until this or then, or until time gave way to whatever, we would have missed the opportunity for this bonding and for these incredible memories.

Do what it takes to invest in your kids! Do something crazy! Do something out of the ordinary! Do something they love! Insert yourself into their world for a bit! Don’t be afraid! Take a chance! Just go for it!”

And then, I ended it with “#noregrets.”

If you personally know my husband and me, or you’ve been listening for a while, you will know that we are proponents of being a debt-free family. We are also encouragers of you becoming debt-free in order to pursue the life that you want to live. Being debt-free means that you can live more, give more, and do more. Life is just better when you have no debt.

About a year and a half ago, my husband started introducing the possibilities of purchasing a sailboat for our family. He grew up sailing, but I didn’t and neither did either of our kids. I have never been a huge lover of water. I still am not, but I’m learning to be more comfortable being on the water.

We were looking for something new to do as a family. We have had lots of other adventures, and he wanted to add to the mix. So, we ventured out to find the perfect sailboat for our family.

We found many, and many were way over the budget that we had set up for ourselves – a budget that we may not have been able to set had we not already been debt-free and not living paycheck-to-paycheck. After months of searching, we finally found the perfect boat for our family. We made an offer and purchased it.

The boat needed a lot of cleaning and some work to get it into tip-top shape, and we, as a family, worked our tails off on getting this boat ready to sail. During this process, we decided to as a family go and take the ASA Training from the American Sailing Association in the Bay in Pensacola, Florida. Again, something that we probably couldn’t have just decided to do on a whim if we weren’t already debt-free.

The boat we purchased was on the smaller side. We quickly grew out of it, but we were able to sell this boat for a profit; then upgrade to a bigger boat – again… paid for in cash.

Our oldest son is 16, and as I mentioned earlier, we have only 76 more weeks until he turns 18. Because of this, we decided that family adventures were a top priority for our family. These adventures come with a price. However, because we are debt-free and living below our means, we are able to invest our money in any way we desire. We chose this.

Brandon and I have been married for 21 years. We entered our marriage debt-free and lived on 14,500 for the first 4 years of our marriage. I talk about our debt-free story in episode #36, Budgeting. We have been debt-free for 15 years of our marriage because, at one point, we thought we needed more than what we had. So, we went into debt to get what we thought we deserved whether we had the money to pay for it or not. Well, after a couple of years of living paycheck-to-paycheck and sometimes not even making it that far, we had already had enough, so we decided to buckle down and pay off the debt that we had so quickly accumulated.

Now, being that we have worked so hard at continuing to be debt-free meant that we could spontaneously decide to purchase a sailboat for our family. For anyone who does not have the extra money to spend this way, this may not be such an easy task. This is why it is so important to decide to be debt-free when your kids are younger. When you are having to make decisions that impact your family financially so that you can become more financially independent, the impact on your kids is different when they are 6 verses 16. If we were just now deciding to become debt-free and needed to get a second or third job delivering pizzas at night and on the weekends, we would miss the last two years of our kids being kids. When our kids are teenagers, they are more active in outside activities that require transportation, motivation, and participation from parents or guardians. If we were out delivering pizzas or doing whatever job we took in order to make extra money to make ends meet or pay off debt, this would mean that we would be missing the last opportunities that we have as parents to spend every smidgen of time with them before they become adults, themselves.

Getting out of debt either before you have kids or while they are young is so important. When they are teenagers, you don’t need any more distraction than you already have just with them being teenagers. You don’t need anything taking you away from some of the most influential years of their lives when they really need you to help them through really tough, emotional times. You’re going to wish that you could be there for them, and you won’t be able to if you’re never home because you’re out paying off debt that you probably can’t even remember how you really accumulated in the first place. You know you spent the money. There’s evidence for that, but do you really remember exactly what you spent that money on?

There’s always the argument that at that age our kids can see us working hard to pay off debt. We could be a good example to them at that age because they will see what the debt has done to the family and make them not want any part of it. They will also see how hard we’ve worked to pay it off and change our family tree. Yeah, maybe… but what about the example of never getting into debt, to begin with? It’s way easier to continue on a path that you have set for your children at an early age than to change paths while you’re children are teenagers. Never knowing another way of life is way easier to continue rather than suddenly telling them that they cannot spend any more money. Oh yeah, and “you’re not going to see mom or dad for a while because they are going to be out trying to pay off debt. Good luck with your ball game tonight. Hope you win.”

Recently, I came across quite-a-few quotes on Pinterest inspiring us to take more time with our kids. Some of the quotes went like this… (Quotes read from Pinterest)

My point here is this… if you suddenly wake up when your kid is 16, and you suddenly decide that enough is enough with your debt. You’re tired of living paycheck-to-paycheck and sometimes not even being that lucky, and you decide that want to get out of debt as quickly as possible. You’re going to miss the last two critical and influential years of your child’s life before they become an official adult. That would totally suck, and it’s probably something that you’re going to look back on and wish that you’d never missed out on.

If your kids are younger, get out of debt now while you still have some time. If your kids are older, maybe getting out of debt is not what you need to be focusing on right now. GASP!!! Yes, I know I just said that! But… for real! Don’t get me wrong! A definite attitude and life-change are what needs to happen. You need to immediately change your behavior patterns and learn how to say no to going deeper into debt. Stop the madness! Say no to more stuff! No one cares what you do or don’t have. Seriously… No. One. Cares. They are too busy caring about what they do or don’t have to give a flip about your stuff.

And… You are not your stuff. What you own (or don’t own) does not define you. You get to define you; not your stuff.

Time with your kids is way more important than anything that you could possibly own. Never going into debt in the first place IS an option. Own less stuff. Spend more time. Do what it takes to invest in your kids. Do something crazy (Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’) Do something out of the ordinary. (Like buying a sailboat or just inviting them to do something with you.) Do something they love. (Like going for a walk or bike ride or for heaven’s sake, play that video game with them. Watch that episode of Avengers where you have no clue who any of the characters are or the storyline. Act like you do, and act like it’s the greatest movie ever.) Insert yourself into their world for a bit. (They will talk to you if you just listen.) Don’t be afraid. (Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t.) Take a chance. (Don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t.) Just go for it! I promise that if you do, you’ll have #noregrets.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you are doing in order to have no regrets with your kids. If you’re struggling and not there quite yet, let me know that too. I’d love to have the opportunity to converse with you. Thanks for listening.