Hey, podcast friends. Thank you for joining me on this episode of TEA of Life Podcast. I don’t know where all of you are from, but if you’re anywhere near me, you are enjoying some cooler mornings and the last bits of summer weather. You can really tell that the seasons are changing here. The mornings are quieter because kids are back in school, and I guess that not many people like to be outside or do yard work around our neighborhood in the mornings because that seems to have stopped too.
Every morning, I have a specific routine. I am a routine-girl. I do like having routines, and I try to find the routine in EVERYTHING that I do. As soon as I get up… (Notice that I didn’t say, “as soon as I wake up because I also don’t wake up quickly. I never have. I like to lay in the bed for a little bit, analyze the dreams that I had that night, think about the day ahead of me, and plan my conquering strategy. Some say that immediately starting your day with your to-do-list is not good, but I’ve noticed that for me it helps me wrap my head around what my day looks like. I feel like I’m prepared as soon as I put my feet on the floor, instead of everything taking me by surprise later on.)
Anyway… as soon as I get up, I head straight for the kitchen, and I immediately drink a glass of water. Now, this is not just any ordinary glass of water. This water is called Sole, and it contains Himalayan Salt. Before you freak out about it being salt water, there are proven benefits to drinking Himalayan saltwater or sole as it’s called. This is NOT the same as putting sea salt or table salt in your water. Let me just say that if you are still using the white table salt, go right now and throw it away. Press pause on this podcast, and go right now and throw it away. Most professionals agree that that white table salt is REALLY bad for you! It is so processed and bleached that there are no minerals left in the salt. I have read that the anti-caking agent that is put in that salt is like glass traveling through your veins, and it also causes it to not break down in your bloodstream the way that salt should. When Drs tell you to cut salt out of our diet, we need to cut the white table salt out of our diet. I am not telling you to continue with the Himalayan Salt, but I am telling you that there is a HUGE difference. Do some research. It shows that Himalayan Salt can actually be good for you, but ONLY when drank using caution and paying attention to your bodily signs.
My husband has had High Blood Pressure for years, and about a month ago, he started drinking the brine in the mornings before anything else, and it has not caused his blood pressure to rise at all. In fact, he has lost weight with the sole water, and his blood pressure has come down. The sole water first thing in the morning actually curbs our appetite and we don’t feel so hungry throughout the day, which means we’re eating less. Maybe Brandon and I will do a video about this pretty soon.
After drinking my saltwater brine, I have noticed that I really don’t need my morning coffee like I used to. The brine actually jumpstarts my adrenals and brain activity like the coffee was doing for me. Whenever I would not have coffee, I would get a headache from the lack of caffeine, but when I drink the brine, I don’t need my coffee, and I don’t get a headache. This could just be me though. I haven’t read ANY accounts of others who have this same experience.
I just want to say this… PLEASE DO NOT take my word as being what’s true for you. What is good for me and my family may not be good for you. PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH! What I say here should only trigger your own investigation, not a sudden change of lifestyle. Please! Do your own research and figure out what’s right for YOU!!!
So, this morning I am sitting on the back deck, loving the cooler morning, listening to the rhythm of the cicadas and singing birds, while no one else is anywhere around. I don’t even hear the hum of our neighbor’s air conditioner because the cooler air is allowing it to take a break too. Even though I get really sad when summer is nearing an end, these mornings are nice and highly welcomed – a nice replacement to the lawn mowers and yard equipment that I usually work through in the mornings on the back deck.
Now that I am allowing you to get to know me a little bit, podcasting is not all I do. As you probably know by now, I am a homeschooling mom of two boys, and I also own another blog site called Tea Time With Tiffany. There, I write about an array of subject matter, and a while back I wrote 10 steps to teach kids leadership and allowing them to grow up to be great leaders, and today, I want to share with you these 10 steps.
Taking the time to make sure that we allow our kids the opportunity to grow into great leaders could be more important than ever before. I am really not sure that there has ever been a time where it has seemed to be more imperative to focus on a new generation of upcoming leaders. Like I said before, I am passionate about a lot of things, and another thing would be quality leadership. As far as my kids are concerned, quality leadership at the foremost of my mind most of the time. I feel that every decision that I make, in both my professional and personal life, boils down to what kind of leader I want to be, what kind of leader I want my kids to see me being, and what kind of leader I want them to be.
The more I read, study, listen and learn about how to grow myself as a quality leader, I realize that I also have a big responsibility as a leader (and a parent) to teach my children to become great leaders. We hear about natural-born leaders, but I feel that no leader is naturally-born. Some may acquire more training in this field than others because to some it may come more “naturally,” but having the qualities to be a great leader and actually being a great leader is not the same. Just because someone has the qualities of being a great leader, doesn’t mean that they are actually a great leader. A lot of learning, training, and discipline are still required for them to become a great leader.
Muhammad Ali was a great boxer, but he didn’t just become a boxer overnight because he showed great qualities of boxing. He spent hours upon hours to train to become a great boxer. His daughter, Laila Ali (http://lailaalilifestyle.com/) was also a great boxer. Did you know that? Yeah, she had a 9-year career in boxing, where she retired undefeated in her category. Pretty cool, huh? The more I learned about this girl, the more I like her. I really think that we could be friends. ha-ha…
Laila was born from a great boxer, so I’m sure she had some traits and genes that were passed down to her from her father that would help make her a great at boxing, but that’s not all that made her great at boxing. She was great at boxing because she witnessed her father being great boxing. He was her example, and just like this we need to work really hard, learn, practice, and exercise our leadership skills to be great leaders so that our children can see great leadership; so they can grow up in a leadership household and acquire some of those same skills, themselves. Not by only genes or traits and not through osmosis but through example.
Below, I introduce to ten qualities that I believe makes a good leader. Our kids have the ability to begin to learn and experience these qualities at a very early age in order to jumpstart themselves into great leadership.
Good leadership is not simply telling others what to do. It’s making others want to follow you. We may have that one child who wants to be a leader or we may see as a leader but it’s only because they are bossy. Being bossy is not the same as being a leader. Great leaders get people where they need to be by having people follow them; not by bossing them around.
The next ten qualities of a good leader are not limited to our children alone. These qualities can also be applied to anyone at any age, but in order to grow our children into great leaders, we need to start teaching them as soon as possible. As we read through these qualities, we can think about each one and how we can apply it to our child or children and even maybe how it can be applied to ourselves. One of the many things that we need to remember as parents are that our children’s greatest teacher is the example, influence, and experience that they receive in their environment as they grow into adults.
So, here they are, folks – what you’ve been waiting for all this time. My top 10 qualities of growing children into great leaders:
- Teach them that in everything they do to be honorable and to do their best. In order to teach our kids to be honorable, we must first be honorable ourselves. Our children need to be a generation of doing their best with the knowledge that doing their best will ultimately lead them to excellence and satisfaction. On the contrary, we need to remember that excellence does not mean perfection. Excellence is simply doing our best for the best possible outcome.
We are a scouting family, and at every meeting, every scout and uniformed leader stand at attention to recite the Scout Oath, which begins with “On my honor, I will do my best…”. In this oath or promise, the scout promises to do their best at serving God and their country. Our scouts also have a motto, which is simply “Do your best!”
- Leaders seek solutions to problems. Allow your kids to try and fail, and yes, even when we know it won’t work. Let them do it anyway. Experience is the best teacher, and we know, from experience, that we learn from our mistakes. If we don’t allow our children to try, make mistakes, and fail then they will never learn from their experiences. If we don’t do this, everything they learn will be from our experience; not their own.
I’m also going to add this. We, as adults, also need to remember to stay away from the “I told you so’s.”NO ONE likes to hear, “I told you so.” When given the chance, kids can learn how to come up with great solutions to be great problem solvers. We can allow our kids to fail, and when they do, we can encourage them to try again.
- Give them jobs and responsibility. Once we give them a job, let them figure out how to accomplish that job (even if it means hiring their little brother to do it for them.) Stay away from micromanaging. Give them responsibility and a timeline but then allow them to learn how to carry out that responsibility in a timely manner. Set clear boundaries and consequences if the chore, or job, does not get done on time. There’s a good chance that when they begin to work in the corporate world, their boss will not be a micromanager. Hopefully not, anyway, and in the corporate world, they will need to know how to work responsibly, independently, and timely, OR they will quickly learn how to search for a new job.
- Teach them perseverance. Teach them to “…press toward the goal to win the prize…” (Phil 3:14) Teach them to never give up. Teach them to set goals and work hard to meet those goals. Hold them accountable for reaching their dream. (THEIR dream; not YOUR dream) If you need to, go back and listen to my Dream Crushers episode, which is episode #52.
- Teach them about the deadly trap of comparison. The comparison trap is an ugly vortex of never-ending dissatisfaction and discontent. No one is immune to the comparison trap, but the way that we respond to it is exactly how our children are going to respond to it. Comparison doesn’t only revolve around acquired things. It can also revolve around our children’s talents, gifts, and activities.
We need to teach them to always have hopes and dreams and to continue to work toward the next thing, but only because it’s what THEY want or because it’s what THEY are being lead to do; not because it’s someone else’s dream or talent. When our children are confident in who they are and not trying to be someone else or like someone else, they will stand out and others will begin to take notice of them. Again, go back and listen to episode #52.
- Let them feel the weight of their own schedule. (church, school, games, events, social time…) Teach them the great ability of time management skills. If we are constantly arranging their schedule and activities for them, they will never learn how to manage it for themselves. Give them a time limit, and actually, stick to it. We are a homeschooling family, and I allow my oldest to manage his school schedule around his activities. It is up to him to make sure that his school work gets done and turned in on time. There have actually been times that he has not been able to participate in an activity because of improper planning. He has had to cancel because of his incomplete school work. This hasn’t happened often because we also teach them to honor their commitments, but he has felt the consequences of missing out on an event, and this is my kid who loves his social time with his friends, so it hurt. But now I see that he works hard to make sure that he finishes his work on time.
- Have them plan and organize activities or an event. Allowing our kids the experience of planning and organizing activities is a great way to allow them to exercise leadership skills. Allow them the opportunity to plan meals, activities or events for family, friends, their community group, after-school group, or whatever. We can even give them a budget and encourage them to delegate responsibilities. We need to remember to allow them to follow through with their plans and try not to interfere or persuade them into making certain decisions though. Chances are, they will learn what needs to change for the next event without pointing it out to them. We can also teach them the importance of planning meetings before, during, and after an event.
This is also another area where we should remember to stay away from micromanaging or the “I told you so’s.” Teach them how to ask for help; how to delegate or how to obtain the resources that they need.
- Teach them how to say yes and ALLOW them to say no. Matthew 5:37 tells us to “…let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” In order for our children to have good boundaries and negotiation skills as adults, we need to teach them to SAY yes and no. AND, our children’s yes and no should NEVER be a simple shoulder shrug. It should be taught as a firmly spoken yes and no. I remember shrugging my shoulders one time at grandmother, and she smacked my shoulder. My grandmother was fierce, and I knew right away to NEVER do that again, but I remember that, and that was probably the last time I ever did it to anyone.
And we NEED to remember this! Allowing our children to say no does not always mean they are being disrespectful. Knowing how to say no is a necessary tool in order to teach them how to set and exercise good boundaries and leadership skills while they are in a safe and loving environment. It will also help them be more prepared and feel comfortable telling others no when they are on their own. If we don’t teach our children to say no to some things, we are teaching them to say yes to EVERYTHING, and when they become teenagers, this can be highly detrimental. My husband and I talked more about this in episode #56.
- Have them talk face-to-face with adults and younger children. Talking face-to-face with adults and younger children (other than their parent, guardian, or siblings) helps them gain confidence and good communication skills. Having our children prepare a list of questions in advance can also teach them to prepare and help them feel more confident during their conversation with other adults. This will exercise their communication skills and help them feel confident and prepared when it comes to leading others, especially those who are not family members or their same age.
When my husband was Cubmaster, we had one little boy who would never look at adults in the face. Now, we didn’t know this boy’s history, and we didn’t know what kind of household he came from, but my husband DID know that he wanted to help this little boy feel comfortable and confident in learning how to speak to other adults by looking them in the face. This little boy would always look at the floor, so my husband got on one knee, down to the little boy’s level and politely asked him to look at him in the face. The boy was severely shy at first, but after a while, he started to slowly change, and by the end of the year, this little boy was not only looking at my husband in the face when he talked to him, he was also looking at other adults in the face as well. You could tell that this little boy had started to gain the confidence that he needed to do this, and it was awesome to see this transition.
- And last, teach them to rest and allow personal time for themselves. We live in a time where we are made to feel that we need to spend every waking moment with our children, and the truth is, they need time away just like we do. This is something that I keep having to remind myself lately. My oldest is 16-½, and I see time flying by faster than I can catch my breath. I find myself trying to steal every last moment that I can with him until he turns 18, but sometimes not spending time with our kids is the best thing for them (and us.)
We need to encourage them to rest, chill, take a responsible time out or even get away with someone besides me or their own family. We need to teach them the importance of personal time. Allow them some refreshing downtime to sit quietly and not have to talk or listen to anyone or do anything. It’s ok to vege sometimes.
This is not something that I learned while growing up. I was not taught to vege. I still struggle with it today, and I also see it in my siblings. We ALWAYS have to be doing something. Just sitting and doing nothing is really hard for us. Growing up, if I didn’t have something to do, then my mom found something for me to do, and it was usually not something that I would want to do or enjoyed doing. It would probably involve laundry or cleaning my room, so I learned how to always be busy or at least make myself look busy, but now that I am older and passionate about health, which includes mental, physical, and psychological health, I have learned the benefits of downtime – taking a break. Just sit and do nothing. Listen to nature. Listen to God speak to me.
Last year, I read the book 10% Happier by Dan Harris, and I was highly inspired and motivated to take time for myself through meditation. Sometimes, as Christians, we are taught that “meditation” is a bad thing, but that is because the act is highly misunderstood. I believe that Jesus meditated as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane in Matthew 26:36.
I want to close out this episode by saying that I believe that our children have the potential of becoming great leaders and that it is our responsibility to guide them along and give them the tools they need to do so. We, as parents, guardians, or adult mentors, may feel as though we have ample time to teach our children about leadership and what it means to be a good leader, but in reality, we have very limited time that is passing by VERY quickly.
What are some of the things that you do to teach and prepare your children to become a great leader? Do you agree or disagree that it is our responsibility as parents to teach good leadership skills to our children? Feel free to leave me a comment below or on our Facebook page. I’d love to hear from you.
