You guys remember Rayson Choo, from Singapore. He’s the host of the Raygacy show, and I interviewed him last fall in an episode titled Executing Your Goals and Dreams. Well, we continue to stay in touch and chat on a regular basis, and he recently posted that someone had just messaged him and said that he (Rayson) should be financially successful before interviewing people like Gary Vaynerchuk and Grant Cardone – both of which have already been on Rayson’s show and have encouraged him in many ways, and both have also agreed that what he is doing is fantastic and he should keep on keeping on!
Ok… So… I wanted to talk about this today because I feel that there is a huge misconception here. According to Rayson’s listener’s logic, he needs to be just like the people that he interviews before he actually interviews them. At the end of his post, Rayson asked his audience, “What’s your take on this?” A lot of his listeners had some really great things to say in support of Rayson, and of course, I couldn’t help but put in my two cents as well. I immediately responded by saying that that was absolutely stupid! And, if that were the case, you should be skinny before ever going on a diet, full before you ever eat, tanned before you ever lay in the sun, and so on… If this were the case then we should cancel every late night host on television, cancel all the interview segments on Good Morning America and Night Line, and cancel pretty much every podcast known to man. I’m sure you get the message here.
I think that this guy who commented meant that Rayson needed to be just as popular and as financially successful as Gary and Grant, but I think that’s insane. (…IF I haven’t already made that clear). What we need to understand that success looks different for everyone, and financial success is surely relative to each person. No one person can define financial success or even success at all…for anyone. Success looks different for each and every person. We all have different lives, different goals, different dreams, and beliefs. One person may define success by being able to buy an island. Another person may define it as being able to pay cash for a luxury car, and someone else may define it as just being able to pull themselves together enough to go out with friends because the pain is just too much.
We consider ourselves financially secure, so I guess some would call that financial success, but we are nowhere near being millionaires, and honestly, that’s not our goal.” I continued with, “the less you owe, the less you have to make, which allows you to make your own way and not be dependent on others. (which I would personally define as financial success). Some people are considered to be financially secure because they have a lot of assets; however, they also have a lot of debt to go along with those assets, which, in turn, makes them financially poor.” I know people like this, and I know that you do too.
These are the people who, if they lost their job, would be in a mell of a hess (Those are the kinds of sayings that allow some people to get away with cursing.) But, they would be scrambling; trying to figure out how they are going to find another job that pays enough money in order for them to keep up with their financial “dependence.”
In line with this, just this past week, Jon Acuff posted these words on his Twitter feed. He says, “It’s true. I make less because of the time I invest in family. That’s just math. But in 6 years, my youngest daughter graduates high school. I can go full throttle on work if I want to then.” (I love that he said, “IF I want to…”) He said, “I only get one shot at her childhood. When those years are gone, they’re gone forever.”
Now that I just read Jon’s tweet, I am going to now read Jon’s bio taken straight from the home page of his website. It says, “Jon Acuff is the New York Times Bestselling author of six books including his most recent Wall Street Journal #1 Bestseller, Finish: Give yourself the gift of done. For over 20 years he’s helped some of the biggest brands in the world tell their story, including The Home Depot, Bose, Staples, and the Dave Ramsey Team.” (All of which, by the way, probably have a bigger net worth than Jon.) It says, “Most recently he’s spoken to hundreds of thousands of people at conferences, colleges, companies, and churches. Featured regularly on national media, Jon has been seen on CNN, Fox News, Good Day LA, and several other key outlets. In addition, Jon is also a big proponent of social media with blogs that have been read by 4 million people and almost 300,000 twitter followers. In 2010 he used his influence with his tribe to build two kindergartens in Vietnam.”
Now, I want to say that I have met Jon, and when I met him, I had absolutely no idea who he was. I actually have a few funny stories about a few people that I have met this way, but even though Jon has accomplished these things, he was the nicest, most down-to-earth person, who engages in conversation with you as if you were the only person in the room. We attended the same conference last year in Nashville, and then when I got home and started following some of the people who I had met there, I realized who he was. I love it when I meet people that way though. It allows me to get to know the real person, and I am more relaxed to ask questions that I probably wouldn’t ask otherwise about that person. Anyway, I wonder if Rayson’s commenter would tell me that I shouldn’t have talked with Jon after all because I have not achieved the same social status that he has.
So, Jon is someone who is considered by many to be successful in MANY areas of his life – even financially successful compared to a lot of people; however, in his tweet, he admits that he chooses to make less money because he chooses to invest in his family instead. So, according to Rayson’s listener’s logic, Jon should not have the ability to have achieved all that he has achieved simply because he does not make the amount of money that others make. If Rayson’s listener is correct in his way of thinking, Jon should not have ever had the opportunity to influence brands like The Home Depot and the Dave Ramsey Team because of the vast difference of financial and achievement status that they both have from each other.
While getting ready for this episode, I came across a website called Budgets are Sexy dot com. (Can I just say that I love the name of this website because I believe it’s true! To me, budgets are very attractive and could even be considered sexy in some ways!) Anyway, the author of this website says this about defining financial success… He says, “There are a lot of ways people define success and what it means to their personal lives. For some, financial success is as simple as owning that beautiful mansion on the hillside or that lovely Ferrari in the dealership. Maybe buying that winning lottery ticket is what you set as the ultimate dream. Others claim that success is the freedom that you achieve with realizing your financial goals. The answer varies from person to person just like every person is different.”
I love his last two sentences. “Others claim that success is the freedom that you achieve with realizing your financial goals. The answer varies from person to person…”
Something that we need to remember is that in order to get to where we want to be, we need to surround ourselves with people who are already there. We need to seek out and ask questions to those who have already achieved our desired status or who have achieved our desired position in society. According to Forbes.com, “surrounding yourself with the right people changes everything.” They go on to say that, “It’s widely known that one of the best ways to improve on a skill is to practice it with someone who’s better than you (they said to, ‘think: tennis, skiing, poker, yoga…)’ … This idea of playing with someone better than you translates nicely to your personal and career successes as well, and that’s why it’s important to surround yourself with people who are winners.”
I will put a link to the Forbes article in my show notes on my website, but a few more things that the author of this particular article says (her name is Jennifer Cohen by the way) is that “we should find people who are smarter than us.” She quotes a famous quote by author and motivational speaker, Jim Rohn. If you’ve been around the motivational world long enough, you’ve probably heard this quote a time or two but maybe didn’t know who actually said it. Your pastor may have even quoted it a few times. I know that our’s has, but the quote goes like this, “You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” Then she goes on to say, “When we surround ourselves with positive, successful people they consciously (and subconsciously) challenge us to be our best selves.”
This is so incredibly true! We tend to become like the people that we surround ourselves with! This is why we want our kids to find good friends. This is why we are naturally drawn toward those who we want to be more like. If we surround ourselves with successful people, we naturally become successful. The opposite is also true too though. If we only surround ourselves with unproductive or unsuccessful people, we also become unproductive and unsuccessful. So, if we surround ourselves with rich people, we become rich. If we surround ourselves with poor people, we become poor. This is because we tend to make decisions that are in line with the people who are most around us. If we surround ourselves with rich people, we make rich people decisions. If we surround ourself with poor people, we make poor people decisions.
You could replace those words with almost anything. “If you surround yourself with _____________, you become _____________.”
If we only surround ourselves with unproductive or unsuccessful people, we also become unproductive and unsuccessful. Share on X]
The last two pieces of advice that Jennifer gives us is, “Cultivate ‘Real Life’ Relationships With People Who Have Already Accomplished Your Goals” and one of my favorites that she says; one that I have actually put into practice myself is, “Say Goodbye To The “Negative Nellies.” YES! Like I just said, “If you surround yourself with complainers, you become a complainer.”
If the guy who wrote into Rayson is correct, then we would never be able to surround ourselves with anyone better than us. We would never be able to engage in a conversation with anyone who has more knowledge than us in any area of our lives. This means that children should not ask their parents questions until they achieve the same level as their parents. We should not ask our tax guy about our taxes until we have reached the same level as him. If you have a boss who makes more than you (which if you have a boss, he more than likely makes more than you do) then you should never ask him how to achieve management or boss status until you have already achieved that same level in the company. That sounds kinda silly, doesn’t it?
When you go to a restaurant and ask the server questions about the food, wouldn’t you think that that makes her more knowledgeable than you in that area? I would consider this an interview with the server who has already achieved the status of knowing the menu.
Needles to go on to say, I feel that this guy’s comment was clearly out of line and simply ridiculous.
So, the bottom line today is this:
- No one person can define financial success, or just success in general, for anyone else.
- Financial success does not come from owning a lot of stuff, or by owning an expensive house or a lot of expensive cars. It comes from just being financially secure where you currently are.
- Surround yourself with the right people.
- Remember that “You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.”
- Cultivate real-life relationships with those who have already accomplished your goals.
- And last…
- Say goodbye to the Negative Nellie’s.
Ok, listeners! Let me know what you think. Do you agree or disagree with the commenter on Rayson’s page? Do you agree or disagree with my take on the situation? What is YOUR definition of financial success? Do you consider yourself financially successful according to your definition, or is this something that you’re currently working toward? If so, how can I help you get there?
If you’d like to read any of the articles I’ve mentioned, I’ve put a link to all of them in the show notes on my website. If you’re interested in help with budgeting or just have some budgeting questions, please email me at tiffany@teaoflifepodcast.com or leave me a comment on my website under this episode. I’ll be happy to answer any questions that I can in order to help you get on a path to YOUR definition of financial success.
As always… thanks for listening, and we’ll talk again soon…
